There are many reasons why sometimes your spouse are not believers. What do you do in an unequally yoked marriage? is the question then many will ask themselves. One fact we know is that we cannot save any or force them to believe because God is personal and is faith, we cannot believer for others and neither can we save them.
Some got born again when they were already married and so the other partner did not accept the savior into their lives or they fall out of the way, all this can cause a second thought in our mind, but that is the very thought that might destroy you.
How then do you go about it when your spouse is not a believer, as I told you earlier, we do not hold to power to save anyone and neither can we believer for others all we can hope for is for God to convince and transform them.
Being in an unequal yoke can mean to drive you crazy because other things you might consider as pearl is but dung to the other, so here is then the way forward, here is what to do when your spouse is not a believer?
Live a godly life
Godliness is irresistible and it is contagious, it sets a fire in our souls and hearts and this often wins over people. No one can escape this trap, even the most wicked can turn if they are shown a certain kindness and love.
This is the same trap that got us where we are, God in his immeasurable love and mercy won us over not by handling us on in the way we deserved but by showing kindness and mercy to us. This puts a debt in our hearts to turn and do the same, that is why we love him because of his first move of loving us.
Godliness adds profits to many things, this is irrespective of the circumstances, there is a grace that accompanies this way of godliness, this is the grace that will make the worst sinner come to repentance because of the way they have been handled by God. Sometimes it is a hard choice to consider but when you decide to be godly rather than act the opposite way, you gain more than you lose.
The double rule
This is one simple rule that many have failed to master. They have proven to be amateurs in this game, it is more of “do me I do you game”. Give me and I will give you, that is the order of the day but this has proven to be the hardest thing for some to abide by it.
Husbands and wives have different priorities and preferences and likes and in this we try to incorporate the other’s interpretation into their daily lives. We understand them and give them what they need and in turn they are to give us what we need, but some of these has already been laid down for us to follow and so this will be our first line of action and thoughts.
The scriptures are very clear on what men deserve and want, and that is for their wives to be submissive to them, husbands generally want to be in control of things and so wives should give them that floor and the wives should submit to them.
This submission is not what some feminist and women may think of, the scriptures paints this picture that wives are to summit themselves to their husbands as you would to the lord (Ephesians 5:22). Our submission to the lord is for our promotion, guidance and benefit and not for harm.
However, when the part is drawn to the husbands, they are to love their wives just like how Jesus Christ our redeemer loves us who are the church (Ephesians 5:25). Women are generally soft and they need to be loved and this is why husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
This is therefore the double rule, wives should do their part in submission and the husbands are to offer unceasing love for their wives for love is the thing that conquers many of sins and transgression.
Pray for them
Prayer is the ultimate weapon against anything. When prayer and the word meet and kiss each other, then you have the strongest and bravest team on your side. Because these two acts as both offence and defense in your game of winning your spouse over.
Prayer one time shook the chains off certain men locked out in a certain prison. This is what prayer can do, even the most unfruitful field and grounds can be watered by prayer and it will blossom.
Prayer engages divinity into the affairs of our lives, when heaven is involved, then the opposition will have no ground of advantage against the coming war, this is what will drive out the spirit troubling and disturbing our spouse and expose them out.
Do not cease to pray for them, prayer has answered many calls and will still answer many calls. Pray together with them, pray for them and watch what God will do in their lives. There is no stone God cannot overturn, there is no mountain God cannot move, all these melts at his presence, trust him everyday of your life to handle your affairs.
The word, the power that changes anything and reveals everything. It is the same power that is able to save a soul. Your family should and must be your first place of ministry and sharing the word is the deepest degree of ministry more than even healing a blind person.
This is the same word that others were beaten for preaching it, we are encouraged to maintain and preach it even if it is the most inconveniencing thing we are going to get into because the power it holds is more than any force on the universe.
Sometimes in preaching this word, the people close to us that is our spouse might not take it serious and this is why it calls for wisdom, you can drop in that seed everyday even if it is just quarter a seed, their will come a time where seed will become complete and the power thereof released.
This might call us to invite friends over and just share this word when our spouse is around, playing sermons in the living room when they are around and occasionally reading for them a devotional and giving them something either on their phone or car or office that will remind them of the love of God. Be smart in your way of handling kingdom affairs.
We sometimes tend to give up after multiple attempts, this is the worst move, do not give up, just imagine God had given up on you when you were still struggling, how would it be, continue with the fire even if it costs you a lot, the kingdom is more important than anything else and not forgetting a great life for your family.
Fulfil your part
There are many things that can drive your spouse into unbelief, so the way is to try to avoid all those possible scenarios. People do not just fall off at once or cease to believe, sometimes they are drawn slowly until the devil has them captive.
Some are drawn due to last and they get entangled in the web of sexual immorality and this creates unbelief in their hearts because that is the only way Satan can keep them on their side, therefore do your part in your bed as a wife or husband, do not create a second thought of doubt in their hearts.
Once people are not satisfied, they will always try all possible means to get the satisfaction they deserve, that is how our brain was fired to do its thing, it expects certain things and those things have to be met.
Do not create an opportunity for the devil to come in at any one moment to try and deceive your spouse into what seems to be satisfaction but instead it is a death trap.
Even if they are already unbelievers, do not again create a vacuum that they will think it can be filled from out because they are going to get worst and worst but if you do your part, you kind of tie their legs and limit their thoughts of ever thinking of someone out who can satisfy them.