You might be wondering whether you as a Christian lady should make the first move towards your guy or that guy you like when it seems he is not making the move or he seems shy to approach you and make the bold statement.
If you are this kind of lady, then this is the post for you. This piece brings out a biblical perspective to who should make the first move and what are the roles of both parties in making that move. You have a right to reject and not accept any piece here but this is a honest view of whether a Christian lady should make the first move or not.
Non shall lack a mate
God has made it that every woman shall have her husband, that is the way God created things. One primary purpose of our creation is to multiply and subdue the earth whether it be biologically, economically or the matter of authority.
Believe that in this world, there is a man for you, have this consciousness that what is yours is yours and no one will take it away from you even if it means your man finding you at 60 years it will be so and in that you will also multiply and subdue the earth.
For your personal study you can look up this text in Isaiah 34:16. A lady who finds time for the word will never want anything for her soul because her satisfaction is in the word, even what comes is additional and not primary.
You might have other questions, my sister or aunty or that or this died single or died unmarried, the answer is that is them and not you, there is no curse following you. All of us are different, maybe they were meant to be like that, maybe they frustrated their chance, maybe the rejected the moment when it came.
I might be talking of rejecting their opportunities and some might take it literally and everyone who come to ask them out will seem like an opportunity, it is not so, be sensitive to your opportunity and discern your time and moment.
This is why you should be prayerful and full of the word of God; this word will be the lamp that will shine in your feet and show you the moves to make and discern the time and opportunity when it comes and be sure it has happened and it will happen again.
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The man finds
The true order of the spirit puts the man first in the quest for marriage and relationship and family. It is the sole responsibility of the man to find his bride. The only place where we find a man not finding his bride was in Adam when he woke up found a woman lying by his side.
This move costed God in return, since the choice was not of Adam, he had the audacity to blame God when they fell from the presence of God by easting of the forbidden fruit. Even when the fault was not of God, still Adam could raise a finger to point that God was somehow involve in this.
From that moment, we see men finding their own wives and not any woman making the first move to finding the man. God can help but he will leave the choice for you to first call, he will lend a hand only if he is called upon, He will never get into the affair of any man without that man asking for help from Him and even in that helping, he will make suggestions and not commands.
Lady, be cool, relax and take your time, that man will find you. It is a surety you must have that your bridegroom will come looking for you one day and surely it will be what he was looking for all his life and not any other. You have time, we all have different time and your time will come and you will testify of it.
The scriptures tell us that it is the man who moves out of his father’s house and then he shall be joined to his wife (Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31). This house is not necessarily the physical one, it is leaving being a man to becoming a father and a husband, it is that moment when he sees the need for a helper and finds one because his father and mother cannot now help at that time.
Wife not lady
When you study the scriptures well you will find that the man will find a wife and not a lady or a woman. This is deliberate by God and He wants to pass a big communication to any woman who intends to get married soon to be a wife and not a lady.
A wife and a lady are two different people, they might be the same gender but a wife is a submitted entity and the lady is a free person. This submission is primarily to God and not to your family as some may think and then this submission will be translated to the man when he finds the woman.
The perfect allegory that is always used to explain this is the allegory of Christ and the Church. The church is wholly submitted to Christ and so in this same sense, a woman must first be fully submitted to Christ and then signs of a wife can be seen in her and from this point, when the man comes, he sees a wife and not a lady.
Woman become a wife before that guy comes to meet you or if you have a guy already who is planning to find you officially, be that wife he would want to find and the first place is your submission to Christ. If you are submitted to Christ then you can submit to the man because it is almost the same principle and pattern.
Work on you wife part and then wait for the man to find you. Handle yourself like a wife, the way you walk, the way you talk, the people you hang out with; start staying around wives and not ladies, dress like a wife and not a lady. Show you femineity side, this side is always humble and submitted and it is what every man wants.
Society is changing and new trends are being adopted and somehow the trend of a woman making the first move is starting to be embraced by many women who find themselves in situation where the man mind seems not be made up and so some take the bold move, in some cases it worked but surely that is not the way or the pattern.
The pattern and the way is not to make everything predictable but to give priorities to what is important and to emphasize the role of everyone in the family tree. You might cut the cue and be different and it might pay off but surely respect the pattern and you will not have to take the bold step.
Some men in the same matter will be offended because that will under look their manhood and so you will be putting yourself in a big risk, please just do the needful and when the man fully sees the wife he wants, he will make that move. As a Christian, you ought to respect these patterns more because they were designed by God.
If the guy is not asking you, you might have fouled something or you did not listen well from God about him, pray about it and seek the lord more about it and have the confidence that if he is the one, he will one day make that move.
Do not settle for less
There are many women who looked left and right it was like there was no one looking for them and so they settle for what was never meant for them. Do not be desperate, instead of being desperate work on yourself, build that wife part of you and be patient.
The worst part of this will be when you unequally yoke yourself with a unbeliever, you rather die in faith than to be yoked with an unbeliever. This is the worst injustice you will put yourself in, the headache and the limitation you will have to fight through will be immense. Light and darkness can never meet and stay together.
Do not be scared to take your time, you are not late, you’re are a queen and you deserve a king for yourself. When he seems not to be coming, do not make that mistake of making the first move rather focus on what matters building your wife capacity.
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